Wednesday, May 16, 2012
This round of Alphabe-Thursday ends with the letter Z. Z....so many possibilities....but, there is one Z word that I have a particular pet-peeve about and I am going to go for it -
Zombie. What is with the zombie craze? Zombies seem to be quite the thing now, just as vampires were all the rage for several years . But! And, this is a big but - I draw the line at zombies. They have pieces of themselves falling off, who is supposed to run around picking up these bits and pieces? I am pretty sure Zombies must smell, thoughts of their dental hygiene give me the shivers. Yuck. There is not enough Listerine in the world!
Yet, there are zombie comics, zombie survival guides, zombie novels . Oh Jeez! Even Elizabeth Bennett and her sisters are not safe from them. There is actually a book titled Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I kid you not. Zombies are roaming around the village, crashing the house parties. The Bennett girls must resort to ancient defensive arts to fight off the rampaging rotters. Jane Austen is not amused I am sure. (And, neither am I. Do NOT mess with Mr. Darcy. Period.)
The Vampire craze I could understand. From the opening strains of the theme song for HBO's TRUE BLOOD, I was hooked. Bill Compton, what can I say? He could have a little nibble of my neck. (Take note, his dental hygiene is excellent, his fangs are beautifully cared for, shiny and white, not a cavity in sight.) I understand there is an absolute cult following for The Twilight Saga vampire storyline. I tried to read it, but glittery young boys shining in the sunlight do not a vampire make as far as I am concerned. However, Vampires can have some glamour or mystique about them.
But Zombies??? No, not a thing about them is attractive or desirable. They don't have any clever conversation skills, just grunts and groans, their table manners are terrible, very messy eaters and again, those fallen bits and pieces - they clog up my Hoover.
In conclusion, I will leave you with this tip for surviving a confrontation with a Zombie. Try to run up stairs to a safe place. Zombies can't climb so as long as you have a nice big steep staircase between you and Mr. Z - you won't have to worry about being on his dinner plate.
Posted by VBR at 2:43 PM